So I'm Lame. Whatever. And Christmas.

Yeah, yeah. I'm not going to talk about my continual lack of posting. I'm trying to get over it. You should, too. Let's all move on, shall we?

So here's kind of what Christmas looked like this year.

My niece, Kenzie, and nephew, Bryce, ready to open gifts. Happy people.

My mom and her husband. More happy people.

My brother, Tim, and my newest niece, Addison. Happy and cute people.

And then there is my nephew, Max. Max hates getting his picture taken.

A lot.

(Okay, this might be Bryce's foot. Whatever.)

He doesn't care who else is in the picture.

Like my nephew, Carter, and niece, Madison (who loves earmuffs apparently).

Max is five. And this is what five looks like:

I was playing with my camera to see if it could take decent video.

Here is the narration: 

Me: "This is Monica [my sister] putting Max's shoes on. It's a thrill a minute. This is Max, getting his shoes put on. The end."

Max: "HEY!"
Me: "And that's what he looks like most of the time."

Thank goodness for Max. Someone's got to keep things interesting around here! Love ya, buddy.

Hey! It's blue!

In case you didn't notice, I just changed the colors and layout for the blog. I originally chose black and white because it was very simple and striking. But it's been feeling a little heavy to me lately, and besides, Blogger has all these cool new templates and ways to adjust them, so I decided to go blue.

I am still working on posting some of my trips to very cool restaurants in the Seattle area. It's just taking a while because I have SO many pictures. I don't want to bore you with twelve pictures of the same thing. I hope to have at least one up before Tuesday.

Another relatively new item on the blog is a way to follow me using Facebook. You may have noticed it off to the right. It looks like this:

Can you see all that space? Just waiting for more people to fill it up? It's not hard to join, you just click the "Follow this blog" box while logged in to FB. Not that you have to or anything, but it looks so sad right now with only four people. And one of them is the fake person I created so I can play stupid Facebook games. Yeah. So jump on the bandwagon, won't you? Thanks!

It's Fall

Here it is, just the first day of September, and already I'm proclaiming a new season. I actually wanted to post this about two weeks ago, but am just now getting around to it. Huh? What would make me feel like it's autumn during the middle of August? Hmmm, well let's see.

Could it be these?

image from www.betterbudgeting.com

No, that's not it. I haven't seen very many of the trees starting to change as it's been a pretty mild summer in our neck of the woods.

How about this then?

image from blogs.eveningsun.com

No, that's not it either. Though the weather hasn't been wonderful lately (especially yesterday) it's actually been pretty wet all summer, so that doesn't distinguish it in my book.

Okay, then. It must be this:

image from www.google.com

Well, this might be a little part of it. Our district starts tomorrow and some around us begin today. But that's not the definitive sign that we have officially begun a new season.

It's this:

This is one of the literally dozens of spiders that have decided it's fall. I know because they have all come into my house for refuge. This one happened to be at the very top of one of my twelve foot ceilings, so he gets to live in infamy instead of being transported elsewhere. That's right, I don't kill spiders. I put a big clear cup over them (known as "the bug cup"), slide a magazine over the opening, take it outside, set it down, tip it over, and run like hell. Am I kind to spiders because I'm an animal lover? Or because I believe in the sanctity of all living things? I wish. It's mostly because the feeling of squishing a spider this big can leave me with the heebie-jeebies for weeks. I found one in the bathtub about a week ago who was defying the bug cup, and I am still completely grossed out by the memory of the feeling and the sound it made as I got it with a kleenex. Ugh! I just shuddered!

Hopefully the critters where you live will be enjoying summer a little while longer. I, on the other hand, will be embracing fall. I'm ready for the next chapter. Speaking of which, don't expect too much posting for the next week or so. The beginning of school is a very hectic time for me. But I will be back! Kind of like the dang spiders.

Happy Autumn!

Cupcake Royale

I recently had a chance to visit one of the fancy shmancy cupcake shops that are in the process of taking over the world. Cupcake Royale has a number of locations; we visited the one in Seattle's Capitol Hill neighborhood. "We" being me, Laurie and her very sweet husband, Wayne. This would be Laurie from the Hawthorn Tea Room who is now a good friend. I guess she felt sorry for me after all my whiny blog posts about having no friends. So, see? You can make friends over the age of 40. Or I can. I don't know about you per se. You might have a gypsy curse which has forced you to become a recluse who never leaves your home to eat cupcakes. Or something.

The shop is super cute, lots of pink, brown and white with other very bright colors thrown in here and there. It's also very Seattley. Very trendy, lots of laid back cool people lounging about. And of course, there's coffee. Cupcake Royale also has some good marketing happening. Lots of cupcake related merchandise for sale and they also sell their products through Metropolitan Market, the upscale grocery store. My favorite item was the "Legalize Gay Cupcakes" shirt. It cracked me up.

We went to check out the selection and I had to spend some time wiping saliva from my chin. They don't like it when you drool on the display case. Sorry!

I've actually had their cupcakes before because, as I mentioned, they sell them at Met Market which has a location near my house. So I knew I'd be getting one with a white base. I absolutely LOVE the texture of their white cake. I'm usually a flavor person, but I'm all about the texture here. It's extremely dense and rich. It's almost like pound cake, but not that heavy. I wish I could describe it better. For me, it's the perfect cake consistency. I've tried other flavors, and they're all yummy, but the vanilla buttercake is my idea of cupcake heaven.

I chose the Lemon Drop, which has a lemon head candy on it. Even though these are super cute, this is too much frosting for me. This is how they frost all of their cakes, so I've learned to deal with it. But if they handed me the spatula for a minute, about half the frosting would come off. Not to say I didn't enjoy it, I just think the thickness of it is a little overwhelming. This plate, on the other hand, rocked my world. I adore it and am actually kind of glad they weren't selling this pattern, because I don't have any room for it in my house and I wanted to buy twelve of them.

They bake the cupcakes on site, which means they frost and decorate them here, too. They have an open area in the center of the store so you can watch. I was enamored with the sprinkle jars. Feel lucky you only have to look at two of the fifteen pictures I took of them. Not even joking.

After I ate my Lemon Drop, and Laurie and Wayne shared their vanilla and chocolate babycakes, one of the bakers came out and started frosting a tray of chocolate cakes. I freaked her out when my flash went off for this shot. Oops!

But she was so sweet and came over to the other side so I could take pictures. And she didn't call me "weirdo" or anything. In fact, you can see in the second picture she was talking with me about what she was doing and how long it took her to learn the signature swirl. This is the cream cheese frosting (which is phenomenal, by the way) and because it was a warm day it wasn't cooperating with her. But I still think they looked beautiful.

I know you may not live close to Cupcake Royale, but I'm sure there is an independently owned cupcake shop somewhere near you. Since they are taking over the world and all. So go support them and eat a few cupcakes. Unless you have that gypsy curse thing going on. In which case, never mind.

Proctor Farmers' Market

I am fortunate to live in an area that has not one, but three farmers' markets available on different days of the week. The unfortunate part is the lack of effort I usually make to visit them. Last week I got off the couch and made it down to the one on Proctor in the North End of Tacoma. I didn't think to take my camera, but here are a couple of things I brought home.

This bouquet was one of the smaller ones. Only $5.00. I love how they look in the pitcher.

This was my attempt at an artistic shot. I think the natural lighting made it turn out nicely. I got the whole bag of hazelnuts for only $5.00. They're super yummy too. Slightly sweet like I remember them as a child. And for some reason lots of twinsies. (2 pieces in one shell)

Freshly baked whole wheat bread. And only $5.00! Okay, not really. I don't actually remember what the loaf cost. I'm pretty sure it was less than $5. But it would be cool if everything I bought was the same price. Right? Or not.

I also picked up some blueberries which weren't very photogenic and grabbed some lunch at one of the restaurant stalls. Mmm, chicken curry and naan! Finally, I bought an official Proctor Farmers' Market bag in which to stash all of my goodies. Oooooo. See how I put the preposition in the right place there, instead of saying "to stash my goodies in"? And did you notice I put the apostrophe AFTER the s in Farmers? That's cause I is a college graduet! Impressed, ain't ya?

Anyway, I need to be better about supporting our local sellers, especially before the markets close for the season. Hopefully I'll have lots more $5.00 goodies to share soon.

All the Way Home

A friend shared this a few days ago on Facebook, and I just had to pass it on.

I don't watch TV very often, so this might be old. But it is new to me.

I may or may not have been a lot like this as a child. Or I might still be like this today. I'm not saying either way. But I want those pinwheels! Weeeeeee!

Cooking Light Mondays: Skillet Fillets with Cilantro Butter

So, Shrink My Butt Cooking Light Mondays haven't been going too well. Namely because I haven't bothered to cook any food for a million years or so. However, I did manage to throw something together way back in June and actually take pictures of it. Miraculous, I know. This recipe was super easy and very tasty. Definitely a do-again. Here's what transpired as far as I can remember.

Any recipe that has a big hunk of butter in it has to be a winner, right? To the softened butter I added some fresh cilantro, lemon rind, paprika and salt. I think it goes without saying that you have to be a cilantro fan to enjoy this. But I guess I just said it anyway.

Smoosh everything all up together. I suppose I should have wiped down the sides of the cup for this picture. Honestly, I'm just happy I found my camera.

You can use any "mild white fish" for this dish. I believe this is cod. Let's just say it is, okay? It gets sprinkled with a mixture of salt, cumin and ground red pepper. Don't worry, it wasn't too spicy. I am the poster child for the Spicy Food Destroys Tastebuds foundation and I thought it was fine. So it is SFDT approved. I may have put in less of the red pepper than called for, but I can't remember. You'll have to cut me some slack--this was two and a half months ago.

Anyway, the fillets and the nonstick pan both get a good dose of cooking spray and then fry for about 3 minutes on each side. (Fry the fish, not the pan.) I seem to recall leaving the thicker piece in longer because it didn't seem done. I'm always a little iffy about using cooking spray because I feel like I'm eating chemicals. But I've managed to down my fair share of Pop Tarts in my life, and those are probably worse, so I just get over it.

That was pretty much it. I stuck some Cilantro Butter on top and served it with a baked sweet potato and sauteed spinach. (Baked meaning microwaved for 5 minutes.) This was the money shot. Ooo. Ahhh. Ohhhhh.

Then I realized the fish really had very little flavor on its own. So I squeezed the lemon over it and spread out the butter so it would melt into the fish. MUCH better. Not as pretty, but pretty tasty!

So if you need a quick meal and want to get more fish into your diet, we have a winner! Hop on over to Cooking Light if you'd like to make this recipe. And let me know how it turns out. I'll pass the findings on to the SFDT. The tastebud you save may be your own!

Pathetic Confession #6

This billboard was posted near the freeway on my way to work for quite some time:

image from www.economistsdoitwithmodels.com

Does anyone else find this to be slightly dirty? Or is it just me? Anyone? No?

Okay then. Never mind...

Party Time!

That's right, people! Time to get out the confetti and cake! It's a party! Whoo-hoo! "Celebrate good times, come on!" Let the good times roll! "Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999!" Party hearty!

What? You want to know what we're celebrating? Oh. Um...okay. We are celebrating the following:

1. I am posting an actual real live blog. Not a fake one. Yippee!
2. I have more stuff I want to post. And not just once every 6 months. Yowza!
3. There will henceforth be NO MORE WHINING allowed. Yay!
4. I am actually in a good mood and have been for quite some time. Exclamation starting with a Y!

Exciting, isn't it?

Thanks to everyone who expressed concern during my posts this last year. I was not in a good place, and I'm sorry it leaked into Internetland. And, no, I don't know what made it better. Mostly I got sick of being depressed. So I worked on fixing it. That's the only good thing about situational depression. Sometimes a couple of kicks in the ass from caring people can make a big difference. So thanks, friendly neighborhood ass-kickers. (You know who you are!)

Just to be clear, this doesn't mean I'm going to post every day. My life is just too hectic for that. But I'm actually looking forward to posting instead of dreading it.

On a side note, I am freaking out a little bit. Blogger has a new tool that lets you see how many people have viewed your blog and even which posts are most read. Apparently, I am getting over 500 views a month. WHAT? That's got to be wrong. Even with the random views, how in the heck is that possible? And now I feel so bad for all those people who had to look at my depressing posts. SORRY!!!!! Anyway, not sure I'm buying it. All 500 of you should comment to prove you actually stopped by. Hee hee!

Time to go eat some of my party cake. Mmmm, cake. See you all soon!

Where Am I?

image from www.davidsuzuki.org

How did I get here? Is it really 2010? Already? What do you mean it's February?

I feel very lost right now. My birthday is a week away. How is that possible? I feel like all I've done for the last 6 months is work. It feels like one giant work week. I just wrote the word "feel" three times in five sentences.

How is it possible that I have made it this far in my life and still don't feel like I'm on solid ground? Except at work, which I pour all of my energy into. Why am I okay putting so much effort into my job but I don't do the same for anything else in my life?

I was at a conference over the weekend and saw my ex-fiance from about a million years ago. We run into each other occasionally at these things. It always gets me thinking about the direction I could have gone in but didn't. Not that I would want to be with him, but the life that I could have had...marriage, kids, a house with a white picket fence and a dog...

I was at an entirely different conference a week ago (see what I mean about too much work?) and I had this amazing session where they discussed moral purpose. We were asked to make some decisions about what we valued, our moral stance, on certain topics. Then we were to make goals related to our moral beliefs. I totally took this to a personal level and realized that I do not live in a way that reflects my morals. For example, I believe that it is important to show respect for and honor peoples' time by being punctual. And yet, I am always late for everything. I always find one more thing I have to do, or think I have five more minutes before I have to leave. This is just one example of how my actions go against my values. I don't want to be this person. I can't say I believe one thing and then do the opposite. All the time. About everything.

I know this post is extremely random. I've got a lot in my head right now, so I'm putting it here. I don't know that it will help. I feel like I've been complaining on this stupid blog for forever. What will it take for me to make changes? I can't wait around for other people to figure out what I need, because apparently that is not going to happen. Sometimes I don't know what I need. But it has to be something other than what I have, which is a great career. It's not cutting it. I need a full life with lots of parts to it, so that when one part falters, I have somewhere else to turn. I don't know how to create that. I just know that right now I only have one place to turn, and that's not healthy.

Anyway. I'm still not sure how I can be this old and not have figured out how to get what I want. Sometimes I question whether it truly is what I want. If it is, why do I do things to keep me from having it? I know part of it is fear of getting hurt. Again. But I also think I am afraid that I will find out that no matter how hard I work, I won't be able to get it. Maybe I'm not...enough, or something. I'm not even sure how to complete this thought. Maybe I'm just super lazy. It's much easier to do nothing and bury myself online and ignore that I have no life. But sometimes it hurts too much to ignore. Like right now.

Oh my God, I'm such a Debbie Downer. I am extremely tired of posting sadness on this stupid blog. Seriously, go check out the archives. I used to be funny and cutesy. Really! I'm a fun person most of the time. No, I am! Or maybe I'm just not anymore. Was that real? Am I real now, or just feeling sorry for myself? It seems like the only time I write any more is when I am having a pity party. I am so sorry, my five readers, for having yet another pity party.

Okay. I am going to use what I learned at the session. I am going to set a goal right now. My goal is to be on time to work every day this week (it's only a three day week, so doable) and not make anyone wait more than five minutes to meet me for social events. I can do this. I know it's small, but I think I need to start with something little and build off of it instead of trying to fix my whole life at once. I can do this. I think I'm going to set a few more small goals, too. I'll let you know how I do at the end of the week. I have to do something. I can do this.

Thanks for listening internetland.