Dooce!

Sometimes I feel very lucky to live in Seattle (Okay, Tacoma. Close enough). Not today, while the rain is pouring down. But yesterday, a lot more so. One of the perks of living near a thriving, fore-thinking city is that sometimes cool people come to town. People like this:

What? You don't recognize her? I'm not surprised. Many people wouldn't. But if you have ever checked out the right side of this blog, you will see her listed under the title "People Way Smarter Than Me." This is Heather B. Armstrong. Otherwise known as Dooce.

Heather has been blogging for longer than I've known what a blog is. She has chronicled life at her crappy job, her engagement, leaving the Mormon faith, her marriage, losing her crappy job (because of her blog), motherhood and now her second pregnancy. All while dealing with chronic depression. And all with a wicked wit and amazing sense of humor. I've only been following her for about a year, but what I've read of hers is amazing. It's no wonder the blog opened the opportunity for her to write this:

image from dooce.com

So I was super excited to make the hour long drive up to North Seattle to listen to her read from her book and answer questions. Many, many other people had the same idea. There were at least 300 people in the audience, if not more.

The first thing that struck me was how much she moves when she talks. It was hard enough to get a decent picture with the terrible lighting and my less than ideal seat. It didn't help that she was constantly talking with her hands, making faces and sweeping her bangs off to the side. She was always in motion.

The second thing I realized is that she truly has no topic off limits. Heather told us things that I would never in a million years share with anyone, much less a room full of strangers. But it is precisely because she is so open that people flock to her and her website.

The third thing that occurred to me is that she is one of those people that THINGS HAPPEN TO. Do you know these people? I seem to know a lot of them. Maybe you are one! There are people who go through life and crazy stuff happens to them all the time. For no reason, something heavy will fall out of the sky into their pathway. Or a crazy person will walk up and give them $100. Just THINGS. THINGS that would never happen to me in a million years. The stories she can tell from just one of these THINGS left me gasping for air through my laughter.

One of the reasons I wanted to be there last night was because, in a way, I am just like her. I'm just a woman who wants to put my thoughts and feelings out into the world. I'm just an average person and so is she. It is crazy to think that one day she had this little blog, and the next day it was helping support her family and she had a book deal. Not that that's a direction I feel my life would ever take, but it's mind blowing to think that it can happen in the world. To a normal person.

The hardest part of the question and answer for me was when she spoke about her "hate mail." There are websites and people whose sole purpose in life is to "make her hurt," as she put it. She said she would only respond to that type of email or comment if she felt that person had enriched her life with their response. She had so much dignity about it. It leaves me speechless that people would go out of their way to cause pain to someone just because they don't agree with their view point. If you don't like it, don't read it! It was like they don't see her as a real person. She is real! She has feelings. She is just like you and me. I have absolutely no tolerance for that kind of injustice. Apparently, the latest slander is that she's not really pregnant, but just pretending to help boost book sales. PLEASE! Believe me, she is pregnant. And she looked hot, too! I wish I looked that good.

I had no qualms about standing in a very long line to get my book signed. I thought about what to say for the whole time I was waiting to see her. I came up with nothing of any consequence. Just a "thanks for coming here." I get really shy around people who are famous or who I am in awe of. She falls into both categories.

I am so glad I went to the reading and got to be in the same room for a while. If you haven't already, check out her website at www.dooce.com. You won't be sorry. At the very least, you won't be bored!

Me and Dooce!

Cooking Light Mondays: Cod Poached in Spicy Tomato Broth

That's right, Shrink My Butt Cooking Light Mondays are back! Mostly because I made this one literally months ago and just never got around to posting it. But never mind. Here it is in all its easy-as-pie glory!

Put together all the stuff you need. Here we have garlic, kalamata olives, crushed red pepper, Italian Recipe diced tomatoes (yay, S&W!), olive oil, capers and some white wine hiding in the back. You can't get away from ME, wine! And thanks to The Pioneer Woman for giving me the idea of putting all the ingredients in one photo so I don't have to go on about them individually. Unless I want to.

So let's go! Heat up the oil and throw in some garlic you smooshed up. The recipe calls for bottled minced garlic, but I usually have fresh stuff on hand, and I love using my Pampered Chef garlic smoosher.

After a minute or so, throw in water, some of the wine, some of the crushed red pepper (not all of it. hot is bad) and capers. Drink some of the leftover wine.

Realize you were supposed to put the tomatoes in there, too. Oops. Darn wine. Anyway, put the tomatoes in and bring to a boil.

Reduce the heat and simmer for 2 minutes. Doesn't it look pretty? See all the steam? Ooooo. Tomato stuff.

Throw in your fish fillets cut up into chunks. It just dawned on me that the recipe doesn't say to cut up the fish. I guess that came out of my little brain. Oh well.

Put the lid on the great Calphalon pan your mom gave you. Let fish simmer for 5 minutes. Notice how dirty and beat up the ancient stove in your apartment is. Wish you had a new one. Realize you forgot to chop up the olives.

While fish is cooking, chop up the olives. Try to get a picture that doesn't make them look like raisins on crack. Drink some more wine.

Serve fish with some of the broth and a crusty french roll you heated up in the toaster oven. Sprinkle olives on top. Take pictures. Realize the roll soaked up a LOT of the broth and is now soggy. Swear a little. Eat it anyway. Say "Mmmm, this is good."

And there you have it. The VERY easy poached cod recipe from Cooking Light. Really, if it was any easier, I could have drunk the whole bottle of wine with it. Instead of just half.

Okay, three-quarters.

Pathetic Confession #3 and Apology

Okay, so here's the thing. I have an obsessive personality. I find something that interests me, and it's all I can think about or focus on for an indiscriminate period of time. I can spend literally hours thinking about and researching the current infatuation. My brain wants to be completely immersed in it. Then I'm over it and I move on to the next thing that catches my fancy. Since he doesn't read my blog, I blame it on my Dad, who also demonstrates this trait.

Which leads me to the apology part. I am so sorry, internetland, to have neglected you for SO VERY LONG. I have heard your whining cries of neglect and am here to beg for your forgiveness and offer my most heartfelt apology for ditching you these last few months. I hope all five of you will find it in your hearts to give me another chance and not delete me from your Favorites, as has been frequently threatened the last few weeks. I am truly sorry for moving on to my next obsession and not taking you with me.

I have had to make some choices about how I am spending my time. Therefore, I will only be blogging about 3 times a week. More if something exciting comes up. I am truly trying to find more balance in my life, and spending an hour on the blog every night is just not working for me. I hope you will hang in there as I figure out how to share with you and still have time left for me. Thanks so much for your patience!

p.s. It's Spring Break this week. Whoo-hoo! So check in Monday for a new post.

Cooking Light Mondays: Diner Meatloaf Muffins

Hey everyone! It's time again for Shrink My Butt Cooking Light Monday! Maybe I should just officially change its name to that. Anyway, this week's recipe is Diner Meatloaf Muffins. In the March, 2006 issue, they did a "cooking class" segment on lots of ways to make meatloaf. I've been feeling the need for some comfort food lately with our freezing temperatures out here, and plus I've been craving hamburger. I know there are lots of better types of beef out there, but I am a hamburger girl. Love it!

This was a very simple recipe and luckily it came out VERY good. This is definitely a keeper. Not only did I love the flavor and texture, but I also managed to make it in under an hour. Even with chopping time involved. Let's make meatloaf!

Chop up a cup of onions and half a cup of carrots. This is a fine dice. Heat up a little olive oil and saute them with 2 garlic cloves mushed (I am too lazy to mince) and a teaspoon of oregano for two minutes. This smelled heavenly. I wanted to take a bath in this stuff. However, that would get me lots of alone time. Or institutional time. Whatever.

Set that aside to cool down a little bit. Then pull out your fat free Saltine Crackers which you forgot to buy and had to run to the store for had sitting in your cabinet. I know I could have bought store brand for this, but now I have 3 other sleeves of crackers that I will have to deal with. So I spent the big bucks and got the Nabisco ones. Expect more Saltine Cracker recipes in the near future.

Now for the fun part. Take 20 crackers (says the recipe...I needed 25) and smash them up until you have a cup of finely smooshed crackers. That's an official cooking term. Finely smooshed.

Okay, I'm lying. But you knew that.

My favorite method of smooshing is to put the smooshable object in a big Ziplock bag and have at it with a rolling pin. Anything heavy will do, but I try to use my rolling pin more than once a year for SOMETHING. Plus it's really fun to roll it all over the bag.

That's pretty much all the hard work for this dealie. Next, stick all of the ingredients in a big bowl. Here we have the one and a half pounds hamburger (93% lean), the vegie mix, crackers, ketchup, mustard, a couple of eggs, some Worcestershire sauce (wooster? wistersheer? how do you say this?) and a little bit of freshly ground pepper. Only a little because pepper is hot. It is too. I always seem to bite into a big piece of pepper. Ick. So add more if you like that kind of thing. Notice there's no added salt? It was totally fine without it. But I guess you could put some in at this point if you wanted to.

Make sure you use this kind of ketchup. It is the best. All others suck.

Heinz, need a spokesperson? Call me!

Now for the dirty part. Stick your hands in there and mush it around. Do this as little as possible, just until it's all blended. I speak from experience. Hamburger that has been overly mixed comes out dense and tough. And gross.

I know this looks yucky. But trust me, it's yummy!

No, I didn't taste it. I just know. I'm smart like that.

Now take a muffin tin and spray some cooking spray on there. Fill each tin with some of the meatloaf mix. I had to pat it in pretty good to get it all to fit. Then spread a few teaspoons of ketchup onto each one. You could skip this step if you don't like it, but it helps keep the top from drying out. Some of the reviewers on the Cooking Light website suggested using BBQ sauce instead. That would be good, too. Stick in the oven for 25 minutes at 350*.

Here are the cooked ones. I let them stand for 5 minutes while I took the pictures. I was worried that maybe they would overflow or grease would come out or something, so I cooked this on top of a rimmed cookie sheet and some foil. You know, like I was supposed to do for the Sticky Buns? But I didn't need to. I had no problems or drippage at all. I think the key here is to use the lowest possible amount of fat in your hamburger. These might be pretty nasty and greasy otherwise.

One serving of these is 2 "muffins." I served it with steamed zucchini and some orzo that I cooked in chicken broth. You know, Swanson's flavorless, healthy chicken broth. It worked fine for this and added a subtle flavor to the pasta.

Some of the website reviewers thought these were too moist. They are definitely very wet, but if you've ever had overmixed, dried out meatloaf you will appreciate these all the more. And the flavor actually tasted like sausage, I think because of the garlic and oregano. I wolfed these down and am looking forward to lunch tomorrow. This makes 6 servings, so I plan to freeze the leftovers individually and then put them in a Ziplock so I can pull them out when needed.

Oh, and why do these have the word "diner" in the title? Probably because they were doing a feature on meatloaf and needed different names for each one and that was the best they could do. Regardless of the name, make this recipe and enjoy!

Barefoot Bloggers: Easy Sticky Buns

The Barefoot Blogger recipe for this week, brought to us by Melissa, is Easy Sticky Buns. And they were not kidding about the easy part. I threw these together and had it all done in under an hour. (It helps that there was no chopping involved.)

Unfortunately, I did these on the same day as my Cooking Light day, so I was tired and up way too late, so really no process photos for you. I'll try to keep the talking to a minimum.

Somehow, I had almost all the ingredients for this already in my house. Why did I have unsalted butter and puff pastry just lying around? I don't know. But I'm glad, as all I had to purchase was a small package of raisins. Here is the short version of how to make these.

1. Let puff pastry sit out for 40 minutes to defrost. Or 60 minutes. Or 75 minutes. Poke them to make sure they're not getting all dried out because you're slowly chopping stuff up for another recipe. They're okay? Good.
2. Hopefully remember to put 2 sticks of unsalted butter out so they will get to "room temperature," which I assume is not the 63 degrees my house typically stays at.
3. Nuke butter for a bit to soften more. Put a bunch of butter in the stand mixer. Add brown sugar. Beat to within an inch of its life. If it had one.
4. Plop a spoonful in each of the 12 muffin....holes? spots? Whatever. Sprinkle some (pre-chopped in the package) pecans in there, too.
5. Nuke a little more butter (because there wasn't quite enough in there to begin with) until melted, cool.
6. Unroll the puff pastry, brush on half the butter. Sprinkle with more brown sugar, (apparently not enough of that, either) cinnamon and raisins.
7. Roll up. Cut into 6 pieces. Put in muffin tin.
8. Repeat with other piece of puff pastry. Bake for 30 minutes. Inhale deeply. Mmmmm.
9. Wait 5 minutes. Flip pan over onto parchment paper and pop buns out of tin. Try really hard not to eat one.

Here are my ready to bake guys. Can you see how far they stuck up out of the pan? I thought maybe my muffin tin was too small, but it said to use a regular sized one. On the right is the butter/sugar mix with pecans on top.

Now, the directions said to put parchment paper on a cookie sheet and put the muffin tin on top of it. I did that, but I didn't realize the cookie sheet should have edges. As this cooked, the butter/sugar melted all over the place and dripped off the pan. And onto my oven. Oops. I also think I cooked them a little too long. I should have checked them 5 minutes earlier, but I got distracted.

This is how they puffed up and settled into the holes? spots? Whatever.

Other than that, these turned out great. I took them to work the next day, and they seemed to go over well. I have to say, I didn't actually eat one. I know, how could I? But I am trying to behave myself right now, and almost 2 sticks of butter does not a light recipe make. I did taste one pecan with some of the caramel-type stuff and it was pretty good. I think these would have been more popular at work if I had served them warm, and if there weren't any raisins in them. Not everyone is a fan. I will probably make these again when I need this type of recipe for a group, but will definitely cut back on the total butter and nix the raisins.

Here is the full recipe, if you want to give it a shot:

Easy Sticky Buns from Ina Garten

Makes 12
We used to make really delicious sticky buns at Barefoot Contessa, but they took two days to make because the yeast dough needed to rise overnight in the refrigerator. I was dying to find a way to make them easier, so I decided to try baking them with Pepperidge Farm puff pastry dough, instead. OMG are they good … and they’re really easy to make! Light, flaky dough filled with brown sugar, toasted pecans, and sweet raisins — my friends go crazy when I make these.

12 tablespoons (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1/3 cup light brown sugar, lightly packed
1/2 cup pecans, chopped in very large pieces
1 package (17.3 ounces/2 sheets) frozen puff pastry, defrosted for the filling
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and cooled
2/3 cup light brown sugar, lightly packed
3 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1 cup raisins

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Place a 12-cup standard muffin tin on a sheet pan lined with parchment paper.

In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, combine the 12 tablespoons butter and 1/3 cup brown sugar. Place 1 rounded tablespoon of the mixture in each of the 12 muffin cups. Distribute the pecans evenly among the 12 muffin cups on top of the butter and sugar mixture.

Lightly flour a wooden board or stone surface. Unfold one sheet of puff pastry with the folds going left to right. Brush the whole sheet with half of the melted butter. Leaving a 1-inch border on the puff pastry, sprinkle each sheet with 1/3 cup of the brown sugar, 1 1/2 teaspoons of the cinnamon, and 1/2 cup of the raisins. Starting with the end nearest you, roll the pastry up snugly like a jelly roll around the filling, finishing the roll with the seam side down.

Trim the ends of the roll about 1/2 inch and discard. Slice the roll in 6 equal pieces, each about 1 1/2 inches wide. Place each piece, spiral side up, in 6 of the muffin cups. Repeat with the second sheet of puff pastry to make 12 sticky buns.

Bake for 30 minutes, until the sticky buns are golden to dark brown on top and firm to the touch. Allow to cool for 5 minutes only, invert the buns onto the parchment paper (ease the filling and pecans out onto the buns with a spoon), and cool completely.

Cooking Light Mondays: Chicken Biryani

Today's recipe is an Indian dish. Biryani (beer-YAH-nee according to my food dictionary) can be all sorts of combinations of meat (or not), spices, some vegetables and rice. I love to order this when I go to Gateway to India. Almost as much as I love the Chicken Korma. Almost. Anyway, when I saw a recipe for it in this month's issue of Cooking Light, I knew it would be up next for Shrink My Butt Cooking Light Mondays. Yes, I know the strike through is getting old. But it still makes me laugh. So it stays.

Standard disclaimer: My photos are out of focus. Sorry. Still waiting for the Birthday Fairy to bring me a camera like my friend Kathy's. Or until I steal hers.

This is supposed to be a 30 minute recipe. HA HA HA. They have obviously never met me and my pedantic chopping skills. It took me an hour to chop everything. I'm not kidding. I am the slowest chopper in the world. I think I'm too picky on how it looks. Not that it matters, since it all gets cooked up, but that doesn't cause me to go any faster. So here's all the stuff I chopped.

Onions

Plum tomatoes

Chicken breast (bawk bawk!)

Ginger (the spoon works great to scrape off the skin)

Cilantro (these Pampered Chef shears work great for this)

Garlic (okay, I didn't so much chop as squish)

Jalapeno

I use this little trick that I picked up somewhere for cutting peppers when you don't need the seeds or membranes. First of all, I put on one of these:

I learned the hard way a few years ago. If you get jalapeno juice on your hands, even if you've washed that hand thoroughly, rubbing your eye with said hand is a horrible idea. So now I'm better safe than sorry. Can you tell that I'm wearing it backwards? I must of lost/ruined the leftie. This is the righty turned around. Looks like my hand is on wrong.

I hold vertically and slice off the sides.

I get this without ever touching the seeds. My eyes are safe.

After all the chopping, I assembled the other ingredients.

Golden raisins

Garam masala

This is a mix of many different spices. Every one is different.

This is the first time I've purchased this so I wanted to know what it smelled like. I swear, I started salivating when I got a whiff. It smells exactly like an Indian restaurant. I wanted to eat some, but decided against it. I guess if I ever need a little pick me up, I will report to the spice rack.

Flavorless chicken broth (I don't want to be a spokesperson for Swanson)

The other ingredients were basmati rice, cumin, salt and sliced almonds and a lime for garnish. Here's how it all came together (once I finally finished all the chopping.)

Saute chicken for 3 minutes.

Add onion and jalapeno. Saute 3 more minutes.

Add ginger, garlic, garam masala, and cumin. Saute 30 seconds. Inhale deeply.

Add raisins, tomatoes, rice and broth. Stir up. Bring to a boil.

Cover, lower heat, simmer 15 minutes.

Stir in cilanto. Then you have this.

Unfortunately, this is not exactly what I was hoping for. If you see the picture of the recipe in the magazine, the rice is all fluffy and separated, the way rice is supposed to be. Mine was very, very mushy. There wasn't any water in the bottom, but the rice just wasn't the right texture. I ALWAYS have problems with rice. I either burn it or get it mushy, like this. Maybe I somehow insulted a gypsy, and she has put a rice cooking curse on me. Or maybe I just suck at something that couldn't be much easier.

On the whole, I liked this. However, it had much less flavor than I was expecting, especially with all those yummy spices. I've decided to blame the chicken broth for sucking up all the good flavor with its healthy flavorlessness. (Wow, I can't believe spell check is not screaming over the word "flavorlessness.") Sorry, Swanson, no love for you.

The recipe for Chicken Biryani is on the CL website if you'd like to try your hand at this dish. When I make it again, I will try chicken thighs even though I know they have more fat. The breast was just too dry for me. And maybe I can get lucky on the rice. I'm not sure what to do about the flavor problem. Maybe add another shot of spices after it cooks. You'd never know there was a jalapeno in there. I couldn't even taste the cilantro I added at the end, so I might up that, too. I really think this has potential. I'll work on it and get back to you. Or maybe I'll just get take out!