My Fake Family

When I was in my college choir, I sat in the soprano section, and the tenors sat behind us. We would always get in trouble for laughing because of the half-whispered comments that constantly came from one particular smarty-pants tenor behind us. This is how I met my friend Dave. He still cracks me up every time we're together. Dave, being the smart, smart man that he is, married a wonderful woman named Brenna, who is now my best friend. They have three crazy kids who keep them guessing every minute. This is my fake family.

I have played mom to all the kids, and Ben is my godson. Brenna is like a sister to me. And we always say that I am Dave's other wife, without benefits. They've been super busy lately, so we haven't seen each other much. I'm glad I had the chance to get together with them for a dinner/Christmas/birthday extravaganza this week.

Are you commenting on Facebook, Dave?

Brenna, looking at my Christmas present. Give it back already!

My godson, Ben. Now 13 and as tall as me. He's super smart and a voracious reader.

When Ben was around six months old, I was playing with him and pretended to eat his toes. I proceeded to cut my mouth on his super sharp toenails, which for some reason grow out, not up. His toenails could still certify as deadly weapons to this day.

Beware! Do NOT put these in your mouth! (Okay, that sounded weird.)

Matthew actually sat still for five seconds so I could get a picture.

I have always had a special place in my heart for this little one. Maybe it's because he's so funny. Or maybe it's because every time I come over, he full body tackles me and says "I love you, Stine!"

Claire is the youngest, and also the most girly girl you will ever meet.

She also thinks she is a cat. You're not a cat, Claire. Stop purring!

Claire wants to be in on the action. She likes to know what everyone is doing and be a part of it. This little social butterfly started getting phone calls from boys in second grade. I still don't get phone calls from boys. Except telemarketers.

Did you notice that Claire is wearing a ribbon from her presents? So is Brenna. Hooray, I have converted two more members to my decoration wearing cult! Here's my "wrist corsage" from that evening:

Finally, I want to brag on my Christmas present. On the outside of my GORGEOUSLY wrapped gift were these measuring spoons.

Aren't they cute? I've never had to measure a smidgen before.

(Okay, these aren't the actual spoons. But you get the idea.)

Inside was this fabulous and amazing book.

It's a dictionary of food items and terms. It is AWESOME! Who knew they made this thing? I am always annoyed when I look in the dictionary for a food word and it's not there. I love food and I love words and dictionaries. Does my fake family know me, or what? Thanks, guys!

Oh, and you may be wondering why there is a picture of a Twinkie at the start of this post. I can't tell you. I have no idea. "But I must know!" you say. Get used to disappointment.