Losing It

I picked a really bad time to start blogging again. Because I'm just having a really crappy time right now, so I have nothing fun to say. Instead, I could tell you how I was almost late to work today because I sat on the couch and just didn't want to go. Or how unhappy I am with my life in general. Or that I cried on my hairdresser. I'm sure you are just THRILLED to hear about this stuff.

But then, I remember that no one is left reading this blog anyway, except my sister (Hi Monica!) and apparently Susan from A Slice of Life (Thanks, Susan.) And the reason I started this whole thing anyway was to say stuff that's in my head that has no place else to go. So here's my list of things I feel like saying that only I care about.

1. I really hate my Italian class. The instructor is going way too fast for me and doesn't translate enough. I'm already behind, but now feel like I'll never catch up.

2. I'm sick of being overwhelmed at work. I don't want to be in charge of so much stuff. ARGH!

3. I am lonely and need a date. Badly.

4. Or a friend who will listen to me and not talk AT me all the time. (Don't worry, if you're reading this I am not talking about you!)

5. Or at least a pet. That's not a fish. Which I'm pretty sure are all dead anyway since I haven't cleaned the tank in who knows how long.

6. I hate that my house is a giant messy pit, and the only place I want to be is in my bed. Where I am now.

7. I've completely stopped exercising and am eating horribly. I've gained back some of the weight I worked so hard to lose. I'm so afraid it will all come back.

8. Mostly, I hate that all of the stuff I just whined about is COMPLETELY under my control to change. I just can't seem to find the energy/motivation/willpower to change any of it. I'm tired of being a lazy, slightly depressed mess.

I am hoping that by the end of this month I will be able to look back and see how much better I feel and how much progress I've made in these areas. Because seriously, something's got to give. I can't keep crying on my service professionals. Maybe this actually IS a good time to blog, so I can really think about the stuff that's bugging me enough to do something about it. I hope.

Thanks for listening you two. Goodnight.